PART 52: SHE SLAPPED ME SO HARD ACROSS THE FACE………..

……..I thought to myself, I’m going to end it and just jump in front of the next train…….now that was the first and only time in my life that I’ve ever had that thought……..but I honestly felt for a moment, that I didn’t want to go on with life anymore……..

I thought about jumping for approximately one second…….it was just a mad crazy thought and then after that moment, I never had that thought ever again in my life! It was a very hard lesson for me to learn, my first real love. Anyway, we’re still together at this point in the story….but I don’t want to give too much away just now in the story!

Fiona made me realise that women were not pieces of meat, which I’m ashamed to say was just how I saw them at that age, so from that day on I’ve respected women and I’ve tried to make up for wasted time. I’ve got to say, women, like men, are not easy to understand, you don’t know someone until you really know them! They will keep you on your toes for the rest of your days, so my advice is, just be open and honest…..BUT if you are honest and you still get a hard time, well then things just aren’t right (but that’s another story)

Anyway, Fiona’s mother found an advert in the paper for a headhunter and she thought I should apply. Remember I’m banned from driving for 5 years and so a lot of jobs I would normally go for, I couldn’t. I had no idea what a headhunter was and it was in IT (information technology) of which I had noooo idea. She suggested that I gave them a call, which I did.

I turned up and had this mad interview where half way through it I suggested to the interviewer that we swap seats?? You need to do something in an interview that sets you apart from all the others, I remember the interviewer had this puzzled look on his face but he did get up and we swapped seats. I said to him, at least you’ll remember me……sure enough he did and bingo, I got the job.

I found the job was easy, my only problem was I didn’t bother to understand what IT was. Fortunately I met one of my best friends there – I just didn’t realise that at the time how good a friend he’d turn out to be, it seems to be trait of mine, I’d walk past the bests things in life and ignore them seemingly just because they’re not covered in bling or are different to what I’d normally look for……….we’ve all done it I’m sure.

 

As I said, this is where I met my buddy Dane (not his real name & for a visual reference looks just like David Tennant), this very quiet, shy kind of guy but I reckon if push came to shove could and would explode, type of bloke. He’s a top, TOP guy, although at the time I didn’t realise just how good a friend he’d turn out to be. Anyway, he would help me find suitable people for the IT jobs that I pulled in and I was excellent at pulling in jobs and he was even better at finding me suitable applicants. Dane was literally amazing at finding the right candidates for the jobs that I’d need to fill and then, all I had to do, was to sell them into my clients, which I found easy! Dane was also doing the same job as me but he made time to help me as he knew I was useless at finding the resources.

I was in this euphoric place I’d never been before in my life, work was great, I had a fantastic social life, an amazing girlfriend, money, I had it all. So as I’ve always been quite vocal I found sales easy, it’s just talking to strangers and finding out about them and trying to make a connection. For example, I’d talk to the receptionist on the phone of a customer and get try to know them as much as possible and then try and get as much info on the company as I could from them, which I thought was fun. For example, I would talk to Sophia in Paris, a receptionist of a global company and she’d give me loads of information each and every day. I would call her to find information on other offices that her company had and then get more information on other companies. Well the way I looked at it was, she’s in France, speaks the language better than me and she was really friendly and helpful, remember, this is long before Google was established and so you’d have to use any resources that were available to you and that was Sophia. We’d spend ages chatting each day, she’d get me lots of useful information so, after many weeks of talking to her, I said

“If you’re ever in London you can stay at my flat and I’ll stay at my girlfriends so you can have my place to stay for free”.  She really appreciated that and after a few months of talking, she calls me up one day and says that she’s coming to London with her manager and asks me if it is still OK if they stay at mine?

Sure no problem I told her……….Now let me fill you in, in the meantime she’d sent me a photo of herself, she was a nice looking girl but I wasn’t looking or interested as I really loved Fiona, nothing and nobody could lead me astray from this girl!

A few weeks later sure enough, Sophia and her manager, Nicole, come over on the Eurostar! I offered to pick them up from Waterloo train station and when I got there, well I have to say that Nicole was very nice, cute looking with this adorable French accent too which didn’t help…..I should have known there was going to be trouble – so let me explain, it’s not that straight forward…..

Now the problem was, Fiona had dumped me yet again and so I wasn’t going to be able to stay at hers whilst these two French girls were over, I was going to have to stay at mine! So I picked them up and drove back to my flat, where I opened a bottle of champagne, the next minute we’re watching porn on the TV and soon after that, me and Nicole are in bed!! French girls are a lot more forward than English girls, which didn’t help at the time!

Later that day I’m out at a bar in the City of London with these two girls, Fiona calls me up and says that she wants to meet up, I said can we leave it until Monday as I got friends over…..

Remember, at the time of this call I’m single, I’d been dumped, again!! I can imagine that everyone reading this thinks that I set this whole thing up, so that I could be with the French girls….but that’s just not true! I know it looks unbelievable but it’s just one of those instances in life where people add up 2 and 2 and it makes 5! I honestly organized these girls to stay at my flat and I was going to stay with Fiona…..but she dumped me, so I couldn’t stay with her…..what else was I supposed to do??? It was just an unlucky turn of events which got me to where I was, I’m also a very weak man when it comes to the opposite sex (I should say WAS, I’ve learnt my lesson)…..it’s not every day you get some good looking French girls staying at your place and one of the first things they say once the drink comes out is, have you got any porn…..and that’s exactly how it happened…..honestly may my Mum drop dead if I’m lying!

Anyway back to Fiona and the phone call…..she asked me if she could come out and meet up with me and my friends…….. Now I had turned over new leaf when it came to girls and I didn’t want to lie again, so I agreed to meet up, obviously I left the girls with my mate Marcus (not his real name) while I met up with her. To cut a long story short, I told Fiona that the girls had come over and that they were staying at mine – she asked if I’d fucked them and I just couldn’t lie….

 

She slapped me so hard round the face in front of hundreds of people at this crowded outside bar in Central London, I remember to this day as clear as a crystal blue sky, the slap was so hard that the crack from her slap echoed around the buildings, hundreds of people (and I mean hundreds) turned to look at me to see what was going on……..

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